Jade Maiden 9.6

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[continuing chapter 9]

Judge Yanluo Wang leaned forward, and forward, until his neck had extended like that of the mythical qilin beast, and he was face-to-face with Wen on the opposite side of the dais.  "This is most unfortunate," the judge said, "and given the nature of my relationship with the General of the Mirror of Retribution, not something I would wish to have bruited about.  Do you take my meaning?"  The expression on the judge's face almost, but not entirely, failed in any way to resemble a smile.

"Certainly," said Wen, standing his ground.  "I understand fully how unfortunate it would be for your position should the General of the Mirror of Retribution have any cause to hear of this."  He smiled back at the judge.

Jade Maiden 9.5

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[continuing chapter 9]

"What is this?" asked the judge, smiling (and betraying three additional rows of very sharp teeth in the process).

"My apologies, Excellency," said Wen, trying his best to look concerned.  "This gift was supposed to appear a bit more... discreetly."

"I am compelled by the dignity of my office to condemn your indiscretion," the judge said.  "But at the same time my duty to my name and family allows me to give friendly acknowledgment of your enthusiasm."  He nodded a command to the guards, who began to gather up the hell-money, stuffing the bills into their helmets.  "You were about to say?" the judge added, this time to the clerk.

Jade Maiden 9.4

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[continuing chapter 9]

Wen had, he realized, become very interested in the precise details of the downfall and overthrow of the Ming.  But he couldn't afford to indulge himself, not so long as his father's fate condemned him to the sort of luck that had placed him in Chin Gwai's and Governor Li's hands.  "No, not either confession or sentencing," Wen said hurriedly.  "My position in the administration here is quite secure and I'm very happy to have it, truly I am.  No, Excellency, I'm here because I'm sorry to have to report that an error has been made and I believe that you have the information necessary to correct it."

"An error?!"  The judge seemed to lift into the air, snake-like hair flailing.  "You are accusing my court of an error?  You horrible little man, I'll have your skin for a prophylactic and your bones for toothpicks if you dare to accuse me or my staff of anything untoward or outside the limits prescribed by my office!"

Jade Maiden 9.3

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[continuing chapter 9]

"All hail Yanluo Wang, General of the Five Ways, Judge of the Fifth Hell!"  The clerk's voice sounded like that of a carrion-bird, and Wen found himself stuffing fingers into his ears.

"Let go of my fingers, please," said Fengzi.

"Sorry," said Wen.  "That clerk has a truly horrible voice, that's all."

"His voice is no worse than his face."  Fengzi nudged him.  "This is the part where we bow, remember?"  Wen quickly pressed his forehead to the floor, hoping nobody had noticed the delay.

"I forgot to ask you earlier," Wen said to her.  "Does One-Eyed Lum have any way of communicating back to you when you send him a message?"

Jade Maiden 9.2

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[continuing chapter 9]

The courtrooms of hell have it all over the courts of Fusang, Wen thought.  "I only hope that Governor Li doesn't see one of these places until well after it's too late for him to copy any of the ideas they've used," he said.

"Quiet," said Fengzi.  "Your Number One Grandfather is talking with the clerk."

Wen shut up, and looked around the room.  It was, as one might expect in hell, considerably larger than any earthly court Wen had encountered.  The main hall seemed to stretch off into nothingness, but Wen guessed this was probably illusion, since when he looked at the judge's dais the back of the room seemed to swim into focus.

Jade Maiden 9.1

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NINE

"I would have thought that bureaucratic foul-ups weren't possible where the gods were concerned."  Wen pointed to a group of demons dragging corpses along a road.  As they watched, the corpses reanimated and got to their feet, shuffling along for a few minutes. Then the demons slit the throats of the prisoners, one by one.  After pausing to let the blood pool around the bodies, the demons resumed their dragging.  "You can't tell me that's a mistake."

"No," Fengzi said, nodding her agreement.  "That's one of the more mild punishments you'll find down here.  And as near as I can tell, they're doing it by the book."

She slowed a bit, and Wen kept pace with her; the ancestors slowly pulled ahead of them.  "I have to warn you, though: the bureaucracy down here isn't a whole lot different from what we know on earth.  They do make mistakes, Wen.  I've read about them."

"I didn't need to know that."

Jade Maiden 8.7

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[concluding chapter 8]

The ancestors were happily engaged in a violent discussion of comparative religion when Fengzi slammed her tiny hand on the demon's desk.  "Are you here to help or not?" she shouted.

Number One Grandfather sidled over to Wen.  "You really ought to reconsider that one," he said.  "That's a temper you aren't going to enjoy dealing with."

Suddenly feeling about twelve years old, Wen stepped away from the old man.  The flush was, he was certain, painted all over his face; he could only hope that Yin Fengzi hadn't seen it.  "Please, Grandfather," he said, "can you read that scroll or not?"

Jade Maiden 8.6

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[continuing chapter 8]

"I thought he'd never go," said Fengzi.

"And I suppose we should, as well."

"Not yet."  She stepped around to the other side of the abandoned desk and began pulling on the scroll resting on the writing surface.  Only now did Wen realize that the scroll had no beginning and no end; as Fengzi pulled back, older bits of the scroll emerged from the floor in front of the desk, while the newer bits seemed to vanish into the floor between the desk and the demon's stool.

"Damn."  She stepped away from the desk, pushing at the scroll in disgust; it rucked up in unruly curls, threatening to spill over onto the floor.  "I can't read this," she said.  "It's in a script that won't stay still."

"I have the same problem with that pass, or whatever it was, that you showed to get us in here," said Wen.  "Can you read that?"