Quipu

Addams Family Cereal

Overall Rating: 64

If you’re tempted, best to lay down a supply of this fairly quickly. Gimmick cereals have a notoriously brief shelf-life. (Of course, the fact Paramount is working on a sequel to the movie could mean this product will be with us for a while.*)

Appearance

Confusing. More deliberately abstract than TMNT, and therefore it’s not so frustrating that a key (thoughtfully provided on the side of the box) must be used to identify the three different shapes. For the record they are: “skulls, headless dolls, and Thing cereal pieces.” It helps that they’re supposed to look eerie. Free use of artificial yellow, red and blue (!) colouring results in a cereal that seems to phosphoresce in the bowl. Adding milk only heightens this effect, especially as the individual pieces lose their structural integrity fairly quickly and your breakfast degenerates into a faintly glowing yellow and brown mush; it’s probably best not to eat this stuff while hungover.

Texture and Taste, Dry

Image from the Institute collection

Very light, more crisp than crunch. Mouthfeel is not very substantial. Like ghosts, the stuff just seems to fade into the ether. Decent sugar balance, but a strong maltiness colours the flavour and effects a somewhat sour finish. There’s a sense of an unearthly fermentation going on here. Snackable in small amounts, but prolonged nibbling will leave your mouth feeling like the morning after a weekend-long beer binge.

Texture and Taste, with Milk

Nice, crispy beginning. Fades fairly quickly, though: initial crispness is gone by the second or third spoonful (20 seconds elapsed time, max) and individual pieces start to clump together very shortly after. Barely audible popping as milk saturates individual pieces. Fully moistened, this is not much fun: don’t dawdle over your bowl, kids. Nice, strong hint of vanilla stays throughout, and blends well with sugar. Finish is still malty, however, and cumulative aftertaste will probably stop you at one bowl.

Conclusion

A nice introduction for someone unused to the concept of highly sugared cereals.

*Could, but didn’t.