07 January, 2019

Now We Are Sixty-Four: II

The Internet Song

(The following is a work of doggerel. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, in the following lines is purely and embarrassingly coincidental. Really)

Some friends and I write
In the midst of the night
In a sort of a forum that only we read;
Though we may seem quite dense
Our enjoyment’s immense
And it’s clear that to publish ourselves fills a need.

In the comments we strive
To keep language alive,
By trashing each other with little remorse.
It’s a form of debate
That leaves some quite irate;
But we always indulge ‘cause that’s par for the course.

Though we know that it’s vicious,
Completely malicious;
Civilized folks wouldn’t do it;
The desire to take part
In the bloodletting art
Makes us all sing this song and get to it:

Keith is clouting Cory;
Pippa's stabbing Hugh
Helen R
Has gone to war
With Peter and with you.
Weiss is slagging Jairus;
Natalie’s incensed.
Sara growls;
Caitlin yowls
And now the fun’s commenced.

Not all have the strength
To survive this at length
And some have announced that they’re calling it quits.
But those who have stayed
Battle on, undismayed;
For the chance to call others “oblivious twits.”

If it’s quiet you seek,
Or your temperament’s weak,
Then I strongly advise you to pass on your way.
But if you’ve got the gall
To attack one and all,
By all means come join us and jump in the fray.

Sure, we know that it’s vicious,
Completely malicious;
Civilized folks would know better;
But our rabid convulsion
Gives ‘way to revulsion
Unless we cut loose and go get ‘er:

Corwin hassles Peter;
Cameron gets him back;
Lorna’s sting
Confounds Do-Ming
Who leaps to the attack.
Karen shows up cursing,
To join in all the fun;
The whole darned gang is sturm und drang,
And still we’re not quite done:

Sherry’s after Robin;
Karl unloads on me
Madeline,
With stealthy grin
Joins Janice on a spree.
Mark and Jill are snarling
Like a pair of stoats;
Chris and Dave begin to rave

― And Paige is taking notes.

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