"I'm still not at all sure I understand how it is we're able to do this," Wen said as they walked. "We're not dead, but my father is—and somehow we're going to be able to rescue him?" The landscape through which they walked was one of breathtaking beauty; Fengzi had explained to him that since the hells were created for the black-haired people—the Chinese, in other words—it was only natural that the gateway to the hells would resemble the landscape most Chinese knew. If I get out of this alive, Wen thought, and if the Ming truly are gone, then perhaps it might be possible, some day, for me to travel to China and see this for myself.
In the distance was a bridge whose far end Wen could not see; adjacent to the near end was a massive gateway, through which smoke issued. That, he guessed, was where hell began.
"We can't rescue your father from being dead," she said. "I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear before. But we can stop him from being a hungry ghost. And we have to do that, or you'll never be able to get out of your prison alive. You've been cursed, Wen Xia, ever since the moment your father died and you weren't able to perform the appropriate rites for him. The chain that connects you to your family is broken. That's why our income was dropping, and that's why you were so easily trapped by Chin Gwai."
"No," he said. "I don't want that. I don't want to be trapped in that endless cycle of —"
"You won't be trapped!" She turned on him, and her eyes were at once black and blazing; Wen was afraid of her as he'd never been afraid of anything in his life. "You don't perform the rituals because they're required of you! Just as you don't listen to the opinions of your crew because it's required! You listen to your crew because they've been doing this for longer than you have and they just might recognize a trap when they see it! And you perform the rituals for your father not because you're required to but because you loved your father in spite of the fact that the world beat him down!"
Yin Fengzi blurred then, and Wen realized after a moment that this was because he was crying. "Stupid," he said after hearing himself sobbing. "Stupid..."
"No, not stupid." A cool comfort rushed through him, and looking down he saw her hand brushing over his. "Trapped. Believe me, Xia, I understand how it feels to be trapped."
"You've never called me by my first name before."
"I haven't, have I?" She smiled at him.
He shook his head, feeling tears flying away. "So I've been cursed. I suppose, thinking back, the signs were definitely there." She laughed at that, and he felt better. "I suppose I'll owe my grandfathers an apology, too, when I let them out of their wine-jar."
"Oh, you'll be able to deliver your apology sooner than that," Fengzi said. "I left Pocapetl watching my body, with instructions that he should tear up the spell and unseal the jar once he saw me—well, my body—make certain signs."
"Oh, no," he said. "I am going to be in so much trouble."
"Look on the sunny side," she said in reply. "You'll be in a lot more trouble if they don't come to help you."
"Listen," he said. "If my father became a hungry ghost because I didn't—because I wasn't able to perform the rituals when he died, then why can't I just perform the rituals now and set him free that way?"
"A good question," she said. "But only the living can perform the rituals, remember, and while you were living you refused to do it. Be honest: would you have listened to me had I appeared in a dream and explained this to you?"
"Of course... not," he said. "You're right. Anyway, I haven't dreamed since I can't remember—oh. I suppose that's part of the curse, too."
"Yes. I have, in fact, been trying to reach you for days now, since Lum set out to try to find you. You've been completely cut off from the spirit world, Xia, and dreams are our usual connection to the spirits."
"Do you know if Lum is all right? I tried to warn him, once I realized what was happening, but I think I was probably too late."
"No, you weren't." She touched his hand again. "Your warning saved him, and he knows it. At the moment he's hiding in the coastal hills south of Jīn-sè Mèn. But you'll no doubt be pleased to know, Xia, that there are innumerable people in fishing villages all along the coast who know everything about the Notorious Wen Xia and his single-minded quest to overthrow Prince Yizan and bring freedom—real freedom—to Fusang."
"What? That was never my quest."
"When we're out of this and the prince is overthrown, you be sure to say that to everyone you meet."
"Tell me, Fengzi," he said.
"Yes?"
"Was I ever in control of anything I did?"
No comments:
Post a Comment